Vegas Vacation Quotes - Vegas Vacation (1997) One-Liners, Quotes, and Fun Dialogues

Since this is a Vegas Vacation movie article, we will not reference the other movies in the Griswold family’s holidays series. The table below shows how we split the fun into categories. The selected quotes Vegas Vacation in our article are categorised by character.

We added a special Clark and Eddie section because every interaction between them is unforgettable. Don’t forget to check the FAQ section where we answered the most popular questions by our readers and fans of the Vacation movies. First in our article is a little bit of information regarding the movie itself.

National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation (1997)

The Vegas Vacation movie takes us on another holiday with the Griswold family. Clark and Emily decide to head on to Las Vegas, Nevada and renew their vows in a traditional fast and crazy Las Vegas wedding. This simple plan sounds amazing, considering that they are unsure if there is even something worth seeing in Vegas.

The hard work of the National Lampoon team brings funny Vegas Vacation lines and dialogues throughout the movie. As always, they go a step beyond and joke with their previous films and real life. An excellent example is Clark Griswold’s line towards the fourth pair of actors playing his kids in as many “Vacation” movies: “You guys are growing up so fast, I hardly recognise you anymore!”

In Vegas Vacation (1997), even the trip to the city is an adventure. The real excitement comes when the Griswold arrive at the Las Vegas strip and charge the casinos and entertainment sites. Their entire holiday is full of fun and weird situations, which result in memorable Vegas Vacation movie quotes. In the next section of this article, you can find the first batch of quotes.

Vegas Vacation Movie Quotes – Clark & Eddie Funny Dialogues

Reading quotes from Vegas Vacation online is a way to realise the deeper meaning behind the movie scene. Clark Griswold and Cousin Eddie share their wisdom, life experiences, and support towards each other in multiple scenes. Eddie even tries to help Clark win back his money in the casinos and fight the gambling addiction.

We meet Eddie and Catherin living in the desert where the military used to test H-bombs. The earth is poisonous, the weather is hot as Hell, and there is no electricity or water. Even so, the family tries to make the best of it by being generous hosts and offer home cooking meals:

Clark: You need any help with the grill, Eddie?

Eddie: No thanks, Clark. Don’t have one. [throws chicken onto a rock]

Eddie & Clark

An then there is this wise quote:

I haven’t seen a beatin’ like that since somebody stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose.
Eddie, after Clark loses on the tables

Vegas Vacation quotes dazzle us when the guys hit the casino. It is even funnier when the characters react to the movie situation in an exceptionally dramatic way. For example, when Clark Griswold says: “I’ve lost three hundred dollars in fifteen minutes!” Eddie, who is just taking a sip of beer, chokes when hearing the number and spits the beer out.

If you think it can’t get worse than this, you have not seen National Lampoon’s films before. The Vegas Vacation movie is not listed as one of the best gambling movies of all time, but here you can witness dialogues that can break your heart and make you laugh at the same time:

Clark [devastated]: Eddie, I gambled away more money than you’ll ever understand.

Eddie [bravely]: Try me.

Clark [whispering]: Twenty-two thousand eight hundred dollars.

Eddie [shouting]: Oh God! Oh, God! Oh my shhhhooddd! Oh, God! Oh my God!

Clark & Eddie at the casino bar

Sometimes their funny dialogues even draw memories from the past:

Clark Griswold: Eddie, has anyone ever told you you’re bad luck?

Cousin Eddie: Those were my mother’s dying words. But I guess if your body’s covered in third-degree burns, and your foot’s caught in a bear trap, you tend to start talkin’ crazy.

Clark & Eddie at the casino

The amazing Vegas Vacation movie quotes and puns are the only thing we recommend you take from this film. Many of the gambling practices and shady locations can get you in trouble with the law and the Nevada Gaming Control Board. The next time you go to Vegas, we recommend you stay away from illegal gambling locations like the shady casino Clark and Eddie went to.

Quotes from Vegas Vacation – The Boys are Having Fun

* National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation – Trailer 1, YouTube channel Warner Bros.

The Vegas Vacation (1997) is the fourth movie in the National Lampoon’s Vegas movies. We already know that there will be great jokes and fun times, so many viewers wait with paper and pen to note the next impressive Vegas Vacation quote. This time Clark, Eddie, and Rusty will take you on a trip to the Vegas casinos and deliver many memorable gambling quotes and one-liners.

Clark Griswold One-Liners – Chevy Chase Vegas Vacation Quotes

Undoubtedly, Clark Griswold is the funniest character in the Vacation series. His clumsiness, irrational behaviour, and bad luck are astonishing. Despite that, his friendliness, love for his family, and determination to come out of the mess, he put himself into in the first place make the character a fan favourite. Some of his Vegas Vacation lines are around the casino tables, and when visiting one of the top Las Vegas attractions. Here’s an example of some of the funniest Vegas Vacation quotes:

Other quotes from Vegas Vacation that dazzle the viewers are the conversations between Clark and the casino dealer Marty. You might have heard of or had the chance to meet friendly and polite casino employees, but with Marty, you get dark humour, witty remarks, and live dealer pranks. An excellent example is when Clark wants to join the blackjack game with a $10 minimum limit.

Marty: Come on, Griswold, You think that sign is there to hold the table down?

Clark: What can I do with five dollars?

Marty: Gee, I don’t know. Buy a bullet and rent a gun?

Clark & Marty at the blackjack table

Besides in dialogues, Marty is not shy to humiliate Clark at any given chance:

You don’t know when to quit, do ya Griswold? Here’s an idea: Why don’t you give me half the money you were gonna bet? Then, we’ll go out back, I’ll kick you in the nuts, and we’ll call it a day!
Marty, when Clark keeps losing

Every conversation between Marty and Clark shows us that the dealer is enjoying taking the player’s money. One of the easily missed witty remarks Marty makes is: “Woo hoo… Big bet for a BIG man… Sure you don’t want to save a few bucks for the buffet?”. This quote from Vegas Vacation is a joke because the buffets in the casinos and hotels are free for players and guests of the hotels.

Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) Vegas Vacation Wisdom

Cousin Eddie is another controversial character in the Vegas Vacation movie. His entire existence is based on tragedy twisted into dark humour tones. Even so, his heart is in the right place, and he delivers some of the funniest Vegas Vacation quotes and sassy spicy remarks on Vegas as a tourist destination like “That’s it Clark… show him who’s boss. It’s people like you who come here and blow the family nest egg that built this town… not this pretty boy!” Besides that he is an excellent home cook and knows the top cheap eats in Las Vegas.

Come on, Clark, the night is young… they’re giving away free hot sandwiches at the blood bank.
Eddie, trying to raise Clark’s spirit after losing all their money.

Eddie is not shy around celebrities, and his encounter with Wayne Newton proves that he is a real fan: “OH MY GOD… it’s Wayne Newton! Can I be your bodyguard? I’d die for ya.” says Eddie while staring at Wayne and patting his hair.

Have you ever swam with the dolphins? Them things are hard to catch!
Eddie, when the casino security leads Eddie is soaked in water to Clark

Another one of the quotes Vegas Vacation characters say refering to reality is “It is a blazer out there. You’re lucky you got air conditioning in here like mother nature intended.” Unfortunately, this complaint about the incredible heat in Nevada and gratitude towards the small blessings of modern daily life can make us forget that he never follows the casino dress codes and outfit ideas.

Vegas Vacation Quotes – Rusty (Ethan Embry)

Rusty may not have the funniest Vegas Vacation movie quotes, but he is the one who enjoyed Las Vegs to the fullest. His family holiday started with denial to travel: “Can’t you just wrap me up in a blanket and roll me across the bed again?”. Rusty was not at the legal gambling age in the US, and he thought that there is no way to have fun in Las Vegas, NV.

Rusty’s luck took a turn when he had a night away from his family. The idea to buy a fake ID with the name Nick Pappagiorgio opened the doors to the casinos and all other pleasures Sin City has to offer. The teenager played slots and won cars, but he caught the attention of other players who won money on his craps rolls. From this point on, Rusty visited the SPA, top Las Vegas night clubs, and stayed at the best rooms in Vegas.

Well, four slot machines and I won four cars. You know, I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a car.
Rusty, telling his dad he won four cars at the slots

This is probably, one of the most amazing quotes Vegas Vacation has, which every gambler and a player wants to say. Rusty’s incredible adventure in Las Vegas is summarised in the last dialogue. First, he shares his victories in the casinos, and then Clark shares the spoils between the family members. The last minutes of the movie show us that luck comes when you least expect it, but even though you have enough money in your pocket, it is always good to get a new car as a present.

Vegas Vacation Lines – Ladies’ Night Out

While the men in Vegas Vacation 1997 are looking for a way to solve their problems, the ladies are having fun. Dancing, shopping, and drinking the best casino drinks is how they spend their days and nights in Vegas.

Some of the most practical life tips included in the Vegas Vacation lines belong to cousin Vicki. As we learned from the previous Griswold family vacation movies, she is always eager to help her cousin Audrey.

Ellen Griswold (Beverly D’Angelo) Well, I hope you kids have learned something about the dangers of gambling.
***
Wayne Newton: “Ellen, I’ve always been a moral man. But my resolve is melting in the light of your blinding smile.”
Ellen Griswold: “Um, maybe you’re just hungry. Would you like some more pasta?”

Audrey Griswold (Marisol Nichols)
Clark Griswold: [Clark and Ellen find Audrey dancing at the Club Aereola] Audrey! What are you doing? Ten years of tap-dancing lessons, and this is the way you repay us?
Audrey Griswold: What? You told me to get a summer job!

Cousin Vicki (Shae D’Lyn)
These boys ain’t much to talk to, but if you need a night away from your cat, they’re more than fine.
***
Audrey, honey, let me tell you something that I’ve learned. In this world, you’re either up on the stage in the spotlight or down in the pit serving drinks. So have some fun.

Cousin Catherine (Miriam Flynn)
Oh, I love electricity. Eddie says we’re gonna get some soon. [Hoover Damn tour]
***
Renewing your wedding vows? Oh, that’s so wonderful! I wish Eddie and I had time for that sort of thing. But with the constant windstorms, flash floods, oppressive heat, and home schooling… we don’t have a minute free… could you hand me that oven mitt?
***
I don’t care if you ruined my life. I love you! [Said to Eddie]

While the teenagers are having fun, Wayne Newton charms Ellen. The popular singer hits on her right in front of Clark and even invites her to dinner. No, they did not go to some of the best restaurants in Las Vegas, they went to Wayne’s home and had a home-made pasta cooked by him.

Without ruining the surprise, we will say that there is a happy ending with gambling wins and a wedding. So, if you wish to find out how the movie ends and what other great dialogues and Vegas Vacation quotes are there, you will have to see the movie.

Vegas Vacation Quotes Popular Questions

Vegas Vacation quotes are an example of the good old-fashioned National Lampoon’s jokes. Our article shared the most memorable jokes and situations during Griswold’s holiday in Las Vegas. We will answer the popular questions about this movie and its quotes.